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Post by regenesis on Feb 5, 2009 17:57:04 GMT -5
This is my story: Until about 3 years ago,I weighted a lot,and I was really fat.I was staying all day indoors,playing at my PC and not socializing. But one day I decided to lose weight.I practiced a lot of sport,and know I am not fat anymore.I look OK.
Well,the problem is that even if I changed my looks,I am still shy,still staying indoors all day and don't like to comunicate.I don't think I will ever have friends(not to mention a gf),but I learned to make the PC my best friend.
Other stuff about me:Depressed,suicidal(I had 3 attempts so far),not-sociable,very shy. But I also have good parts:I know 3 programming languages,know how to work in autocad and 3DSMAX,and I know how to crack a game or full rip.When I am staying all day indoors,I start to learn these things.
PS:Actually,I go to highschool,so I dont stay all day indoors,but I dont talk to anyone and I reject anyone that talks to me.
Except that,all good.Now I am playing Mirror's Edge and SIlent Hill Homecoming,so these should keep be entertained for a while.
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Post by Justin on Feb 5, 2009 18:08:11 GMT -5
Welcome aboard regenesis. I can relate to your situation. It's lucky the internet is around nowadays otherwise a lot of us wouldn't make any kind of social contact.
It's cool that you programme. I programme in Visual Basic 6, and I'm trying to get my head around Visual Basic 2008. The only game related language I've tried is Dark Basic, but I couldn't get the rendering software I had to work properly.
I'm guessing you're probably aiming to do something with computer games when you leave school?
Welcome aboard.
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Post by regenesis on Feb 6, 2009 2:54:14 GMT -5
I'm guessing you're probably aiming to do something with computer games when you leave school? I don't know.But I'm thinking to do websites from home or something like that.Actually,my dream for my life is to buy an apartment,work from my PC and never go out.Just to stay all day indoors without any human contact(except maybe going to buy food)
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Post by Justin on Feb 6, 2009 9:44:55 GMT -5
I've felt like that before. I have to force myself to go out, and if I do go out, I prefer to have someone with me. If I'm on the bus, I have to have music on my MP4 player to distract me. There are times when I HAVE to go out, so I'm trying to become more comfortable with being out. When I move in with my girlfriend, I'm going to have to do the shopping. She has a job, and as I'm unemployed at the moment, I'll have more time than her. It also means I'm going to have to do housework...
You can make a lot of money with web design. I can make websites, but I'm not too good at the actual design part.
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Post by regenesis on Feb 6, 2009 9:52:22 GMT -5
When I move in with my girlfriend, I'm going to have to do the shopping. She has a job, and as I'm unemployed at the moment, I'll have more time than her. It also means I'm going to have to do housework... I have read that you are also suicidal.Well,there are many reasons peoples can be like that.But I heard that some of them kill themselfes because they will never have a gf or sex.And there are humans that are in their forties and still virgins(probably i'll be that type of men). But hey,if you have a gf,it means you already made much more then others ;D You can make a lot of money with web design. I can make websites, but I'm not too good at the actual design part. Teoretically I should know how to make websites,but I never tried
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Post by Justin on Feb 6, 2009 10:03:50 GMT -5
I know it's something that's said a lot, but you never know what will happen. I didn't think I'd get a girlfriend, but I was in a chat room for people who self-harm, and I met my girlfriend.
It sounds like you've been able to make some progress yourself. You managed to lose weight, and you've taught yourself to programme. Do you have any other goals?
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Post by regenesis on Feb 6, 2009 10:17:10 GMT -5
Do you have any other goals? Well,my short-term goal is to reach all 5 endings for Silent Hill Homecoming.It seems I am stuck after 3 endings,since a bitch keeps killing me(although I killed her the other 3 times) Seriously speaking,I don't really have any goals.I mean,I have goals,but they are the same for quite a while now. These are my goals: To work at my PC and spebd my whole life indoors(I mentioned that before) To not get fat again To never fall inlove and have a gf or sex since.These are very important.For example,if I fall inlove,I will be really depressed because I wont know what to say to her,and I'll probably end-up killing myself.And If I will ever have sex,I will know how it is and I'll want more,this complicating things.If I never get inlove or have sex,then everything will be just fine.I should mention that I am not depresed because I will never have a gf or sex.I see so many that want to have a gf,want sex,and they go to all sort of counseling because they dont have these things.But these dont affect me(they afected me for about one year,but for 7 months now I accepted I will never have these,and now I am convinced that is better like that and I dont want them anymore) I also have goals like finishing highschool and having good grades.
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Post by Justin on Feb 6, 2009 11:53:05 GMT -5
If you got to the stage where you liked a girl enough for her to be your girlfriend, you'd have got to know her pretty well. Do you make friends online at all?
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Post by regenesis on Feb 6, 2009 12:28:45 GMT -5
Do you make friends online at all? Not really.SOme of my colleagues tell me to install MSN Live or Yahoo,but I always refuze since I dont like live chat so much.As for forums,I am used to talk on them,but i'm not intersted in making contacts.
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Post by Justin on Feb 6, 2009 13:51:19 GMT -5
Oh okay. Fair enough.
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Post by Moonlight on Feb 6, 2009 14:09:42 GMT -5
I think it's really sad you feel like staying at home all the time, but I can fully understand why. People are the most annoying creatures I've ever come across. I understand animals a lot better than I do humans. But think about the things you'd be missing if you stayed indoors all the time. Believe me, there are good things in the world, they're just overshadowed by the bad. Basically, you have to look for the good in this world, it won't just jump out at you. But I can understnad you being too nervous to try. I'm still trying to learn to see the good in things.
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